Five Days I Wish I Could Erase Forever!

I am writing today because I don't know that I will be up to writing over the next few days.  It is really hard to relive this time one year ago.  I wish I could change every moment of the following memories, but it is impossible.  I live with these memories more often than one would wish to recall. 

November 22, 2012 - Thanksgiving

Since I was on bedrest, I was unable to attend any Thanksgiving functions.  My mom happened to get sick this day, so thankfully, my best friend and her family dropped off Thanksgiving dinner for us.  It was such a nice gesture, and I will remember this forever! 

Because we were stuck inside, Brandon decided to put together one of the three cribs by himself.  I, of course, could not help him.  He was so proud of himself when he was done.  In fact, when we returned the other two cribs, we kept the one he put together to fill in the future, God Willing! 

Today, one year ago, I noticed that I was producing lots of mucus.  Being pregnant for the first time, I figured that this was normal and let things go.  Looking back, this was the beginning of the end......


November 23, 2012- Black Friday

I woke up slightly upset that Brandon and I could not fight the crowds.  We never shop for much on Black Friday or get up super early to stand in line, but have made it a tradition to go to Boardman and watch the crazy people.  If we find a good deal on something, then we buy it. 

I kept telling myself that I couldn't get to mad about missing out on the crazy people when I was keeping the babies inside of me cozy and protected. 

At some point in the day, I told Brandon that I thought I needed to head to the hospital just to get checked.  Contractions at this point were hard to determine because I was only 21 weeks along, but I thought I was having some contractions.  I also noticed that my mucus increased tremendously and I was afraid that I was spending too much time up and out of bed to use the bathroom when I should be laying in bed. 

Brandon took me the hospital where they kept me over night. 

November 24, 2012

They kept me in the hospital because they didn't like the amount of mucus I was producing.  They were checking the babies and each heartbeat was strong and healthy. 

At some point, I started to hemorrhage.  The doctor on call rushed me into a room to surgically remove my cerclage, cervical stitch.  He said that if we didn't remove it now, I could lose my entire uterus.  

The cerclage was removed.  My doctor came in to talk to me.  She said that it looked like Baby A, Nolan, was going to be delivered eventually, but if we were lucky, my cervix would close back up to keep the other two in for many more weeks/months.  Little did she know, my uterus was already infected by the bacteria and it was moving through my blood stream.  

So, I told my Dr. that I would do anything to keep the babies inside of me.  I asked if I could sleep at an angle in hopes of keeping the babies as far from my cervix as possible.  So, I began sleeping at an angle with my head down slightly and my feet up.  

November 25, 2012

Most  of the morning I remember things going well.  I had visitors galore.  Brandon was there all day, along with my parents and his parents.  Then, Jen, my best friend, visited for a while and Diana, another good friend from school, visited.  Everything was going well, until about midday. 

At some point I started feeling contractions.  The dr. decided to take me off of all of the medicines that were helping with the contractions because they weren't actually stopping the contractions.  I don't remember too much more except that I did eventually fall asleep. 

November 26, 2012- The Day I HATE

My mom and Brandon's mom decided to sleep on the hospital couches in the waiting room incase we needed anything.  I don't know if it was mother's intuition or if the drs told them that it wouldn't be much longer.  During the night, I was awake often due to my constant hemorrhaging.  What a humbling experience to have someone clean me up several times because I couldn't move from the bed.  Around 2 o'clock, I woke up with unbearable contractions. 

It was a long day of contractions, 15 hours to be exact. 

At some point, I was asked if I wanted an epidural.  About half an hour later, I was told that my infection was so bad that the anesthesiologist would not give me an epidural.  My temperature started to rise and my white blood count was increasing.  Not only was I loosing a lot of blood through the hemorrhaging, but my uterine infection was entering my blood stream. 

And so, after 15 hours of back labor and contractions our babies were born naturally, all within an hours time.