"God Winks"
A friend of mine was talking to me about the "God Winks" she experiences. For her, it is finding change in the strangest places when she is having a rough day. I told her that I think seeing the number 26 is supposed to be a "God Wink" because I see it so often, but when I see it I can't help but feel sad. Our babies were born and past on November 26th. My friend suggested that I search for other reasons the number 26 may be showing up. She suggested reading every 26th chapter in the Bible to see if I could find promises that speak to me.
So, today I begin my journey of finding hope, peace and promise in the number 26.
Genesis 26, begins with a famine during the days of Isaac. The Lord speaks to Isaac and says, "Do not go down to Egypt; stay in the land of which I shall tell you. Sojourn in this land and I will be with you and bless you for to you and to your descendants I will give all these lands, and it will establish the oath which I swore to your father Abraham. I will multiply your decendents as the stars of heaven, and will give your decendents all these lands; and by your decendents all the nations of the earth shall be blessed."(vs 1-4)
Vs 24, " I am the God of your father Abraham. Do not fear, for I am with you. I will bless you and multiply your decendents. For the sake of my servant Abraham."
My hope and promise for today...... I need to follow what I believe God is telling me about our future as parents. This is very difficult for me as I am a planner and it would be easy to call the doctors office Friday morning and make my next appointment. but I don't believe that is what God wants me to do. You see, my body has never worked the way others bodies work. Up to this point the only way I can/did get pregnant is through the use of medicine. I have had such a strong feeling against medicine recently, but that means the only way I will get pregnant is if God allows for a miracle. Maybe things will changed, but for now, this seems to be 'the land' I need to stay. God tells Isaac that if he stays where he is told, he and his many decendents will be blessed. I will try my best to believe if I stay in this land, God will bless my decendents and as many as the stars in the sky. This of course is my personal reflection of these verses. Maybe they mean something different to others.
Second thing I need to hold on to is, "Do not fear, for I am with you". I find it interesting that God tells me to "stay" where I am, and do not fear. Two of my biggest struggles. Don't take things into your own hands, and do not fear. OK.........
Well God, I have heard my first of many "God Winks". Instead of the sadness I used to see in the number 26, I will now hold on to the promises that you have given me.
What are your "God Winks"?!
Monday, December 23, 2013
Monday, December 2, 2013
"Fear"
Yesterday as I sat through the sermon at church, I knew that God was speaking directly to me. Although I am sure the words touched people beyond just me, it was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. It is amazing how He does that! So, incase someone reading my blog is in need of this same message, I would like to share my thoughts and take-aways from the sermon.
The sermon on December 1, 2013 consisted of three points. Like Mary, if we are going to be used by God, He is calling each of us to......
1. A life of COURAGE.
Our pastor quoted John Wayne, “Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway”. That was it, not even ten minutes in to the sermon and I was loosing it already. I am scared to DEATH of getting pregnant again and loosing another child. Two failed pregnancies and four angle babies is not a good record! How am I ever going to "Saddle up" when the fear seems crippling?!
Then, our pastor said that 365 times the Bible says, "Do not worry" or "Do not fear" or "Do not be afraid". Hmmmm, one for every day of the year?!?! Coincidence? I think NOT! He continued to explain that fear is an emotion and courage is an action.
So, lets talk about action vs. emotion. I have wrestled with anxiety for several years now, all stemming from fear. I used to be on medication for my anxiety, but when we started our path to parenthood, I was able to get off of the medicine so that my body was healthy and ready to hold a baby(s). In order to get off of the medicine, I took action. I went to a counselor who taught me different strategies of diverting my thoughts and fears. These strategies are my action plan when I feel a panic attack or just feel overwhelmed. I can definitely say that action is helping me overcome my anxiety.
So, I guess I need to take action to get over this fear. But, that is so scary!!! :) I am trying to live a life of Courage........with God's help! It's not easy, but it's time to SADDLE UP!
2. A life of FAITH.
Faith means trust or belief. I had to ask myself, if I am afraid of getting pregnant again, does this mean I do not trust God to do what's best for my husband and myself? Yikes, that hurt!!! As much as the fear creeps in to my mind and the thoughts of another devastating loss practically paralyze me, I have to have faith that God has bigger plans. I also have to tell myself that this life on Earth is short, and eternity with our babies will be forever. For some, humanly unknown, reason this is the path that God wants me on. I don't know why, but I have to have faith that there is a reason. Maybe someone reading this blog is the reason. I will admit, if I had 7 month old triplets right now, the LAST thing I would be doing is blogging!!!! And I probably would have never even considered putting my thoughts down in print. I'm also certain my thoughts would be totally different and maybe this sermon would not have made the impact that it did on me.
“Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.
I don't know about you, but I'm a pretty big wimp when it comes to basements. I really dislike going to the basement when it is dark. Who knows what creature or insect is hiding in the pitch black waiting to pounce on me at the bottom of the stairs. Thank goodness we have a light that allows me to see the steps as I make my way to the basement or I may never go to the basement!!! I think about our basement stairs when I read the quote by Martin Luther King Jr. Although the thought of something you are going through may be scarier than heading into a dark basement when you cant really see where it leads, think about the end. I have to think about the courage it would take to make it down (or up) the entire staircase one step at a time not being able to see what is right in front of you. I believe the first step is the hardest. But, with God's help, we will take that first step and have faith that the ending to our story is just the way God wants it to be.
Mark 9:24- "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief"...... I think I often doubt myself because I think I have such little faith, but it is good to know that I can have faith and unbelief at the same time. The man in Mark said that he believed, but he also had unbelief. I guess to me this is comforting because it is part of human nature to have some unbelief. This doesn't mean that you DONT believe.
3. A life of SURRENDER.
Our pastor told us to write down two questions: (These two questions made me sob!)
purchased a bead, it would be a representation of something in our life. I have stuck to this
goal and my bracelet now tells a story about my goals and things that we have been through.
Several years ago, I purchased a silver clasp covered in stars. I told Brandon that I wanted this
bead to represent, "Shoot for the Stars". My dream of becoming a mommy. I still hold on to
that dream and I believe that someday it will happen!
Taking all three points into account, I think I have some changes to make. It is time for me to saddle up and get over my fears. It is time to take that step of faith and believe that God knows best. It is time to surrender my hopes and dreams to our Heavenly Father and let Him do what's best for us.
Yesterday as I sat through the sermon at church, I knew that God was speaking directly to me. Although I am sure the words touched people beyond just me, it was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. It is amazing how He does that! So, incase someone reading my blog is in need of this same message, I would like to share my thoughts and take-aways from the sermon.
The sermon on December 1, 2013 consisted of three points. Like Mary, if we are going to be used by God, He is calling each of us to......
1. A life of COURAGE.
Our pastor quoted John Wayne, “Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway”. That was it, not even ten minutes in to the sermon and I was loosing it already. I am scared to DEATH of getting pregnant again and loosing another child. Two failed pregnancies and four angle babies is not a good record! How am I ever going to "Saddle up" when the fear seems crippling?!
Then, our pastor said that 365 times the Bible says, "Do not worry" or "Do not fear" or "Do not be afraid". Hmmmm, one for every day of the year?!?! Coincidence? I think NOT! He continued to explain that fear is an emotion and courage is an action.
So, lets talk about action vs. emotion. I have wrestled with anxiety for several years now, all stemming from fear. I used to be on medication for my anxiety, but when we started our path to parenthood, I was able to get off of the medicine so that my body was healthy and ready to hold a baby(s). In order to get off of the medicine, I took action. I went to a counselor who taught me different strategies of diverting my thoughts and fears. These strategies are my action plan when I feel a panic attack or just feel overwhelmed. I can definitely say that action is helping me overcome my anxiety.
So, I guess I need to take action to get over this fear. But, that is so scary!!! :) I am trying to live a life of Courage........with God's help! It's not easy, but it's time to SADDLE UP!
2. A life of FAITH.
Faith means trust or belief. I had to ask myself, if I am afraid of getting pregnant again, does this mean I do not trust God to do what's best for my husband and myself? Yikes, that hurt!!! As much as the fear creeps in to my mind and the thoughts of another devastating loss practically paralyze me, I have to have faith that God has bigger plans. I also have to tell myself that this life on Earth is short, and eternity with our babies will be forever. For some, humanly unknown, reason this is the path that God wants me on. I don't know why, but I have to have faith that there is a reason. Maybe someone reading this blog is the reason. I will admit, if I had 7 month old triplets right now, the LAST thing I would be doing is blogging!!!! And I probably would have never even considered putting my thoughts down in print. I'm also certain my thoughts would be totally different and maybe this sermon would not have made the impact that it did on me.
“Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.
I don't know about you, but I'm a pretty big wimp when it comes to basements. I really dislike going to the basement when it is dark. Who knows what creature or insect is hiding in the pitch black waiting to pounce on me at the bottom of the stairs. Thank goodness we have a light that allows me to see the steps as I make my way to the basement or I may never go to the basement!!! I think about our basement stairs when I read the quote by Martin Luther King Jr. Although the thought of something you are going through may be scarier than heading into a dark basement when you cant really see where it leads, think about the end. I have to think about the courage it would take to make it down (or up) the entire staircase one step at a time not being able to see what is right in front of you. I believe the first step is the hardest. But, with God's help, we will take that first step and have faith that the ending to our story is just the way God wants it to be.
Mark 9:24- "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief"...... I think I often doubt myself because I think I have such little faith, but it is good to know that I can have faith and unbelief at the same time. The man in Mark said that he believed, but he also had unbelief. I guess to me this is comforting because it is part of human nature to have some unbelief. This doesn't mean that you DONT believe.
3. A life of SURRENDER.
Our pastor told us to write down two questions: (These two questions made me sob!)
- What dream do you have for your life? This one was easy and yet heartbreaking. My dream is to be a mommy (to earthly children). My dream is be woken up in the middle of the night to feed a newborn. My dream is to do endless hours of homework with my children. My dream is to help my children get ready for graduation, weddings, baby showers, etc. My dream seems easy to other people, but so hard for me.
purchased a bead, it would be a representation of something in our life. I have stuck to this
goal and my bracelet now tells a story about my goals and things that we have been through.
Several years ago, I purchased a silver clasp covered in stars. I told Brandon that I wanted this
bead to represent, "Shoot for the Stars". My dream of becoming a mommy. I still hold on to
that dream and I believe that someday it will happen!
- What fear is holding you back? This also was an easy yet heartbreaking answer. The fear that is holding me back is the fear loosing someone else I so dearly love even if I have never even met them. The fear of my body not working the way it should. The fear of failure.
Taking all three points into account, I think I have some changes to make. It is time for me to saddle up and get over my fears. It is time to take that step of faith and believe that God knows best. It is time to surrender my hopes and dreams to our Heavenly Father and let Him do what's best for us.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Five Days I Wish I Could Erase Forever!
I am writing today because I don't know that I will be up to writing over the next few days. It is really hard to relive this time one year ago. I wish I could change every moment of the following memories, but it is impossible. I live with these memories more often than one would wish to recall.
November 22, 2012 - Thanksgiving
Since I was on bedrest, I was unable to attend any Thanksgiving functions. My mom happened to get sick this day, so thankfully, my best friend and her family dropped off Thanksgiving dinner for us. It was such a nice gesture, and I will remember this forever!
Because we were stuck inside, Brandon decided to put together one of the three cribs by himself. I, of course, could not help him. He was so proud of himself when he was done. In fact, when we returned the other two cribs, we kept the one he put together to fill in the future, God Willing!
Today, one year ago, I noticed that I was producing lots of mucus. Being pregnant for the first time, I figured that this was normal and let things go. Looking back, this was the beginning of the end......
November 23, 2012- Black Friday
I woke up slightly upset that Brandon and I could not fight the crowds. We never shop for much on Black Friday or get up super early to stand in line, but have made it a tradition to go to Boardman and watch the crazy people. If we find a good deal on something, then we buy it.
I kept telling myself that I couldn't get to mad about missing out on the crazy people when I was keeping the babies inside of me cozy and protected.
At some point in the day, I told Brandon that I thought I needed to head to the hospital just to get checked. Contractions at this point were hard to determine because I was only 21 weeks along, but I thought I was having some contractions. I also noticed that my mucus increased tremendously and I was afraid that I was spending too much time up and out of bed to use the bathroom when I should be laying in bed.
Brandon took me the hospital where they kept me over night.
November 24, 2012
They kept me in the hospital because they didn't like the amount of mucus I was producing. They were checking the babies and each heartbeat was strong and healthy.
At some point, I started to hemorrhage. The doctor on call rushed me into a room to surgically remove my cerclage, cervical stitch. He said that if we didn't remove it now, I could lose my entire uterus.
The cerclage was removed. My doctor came in to talk to me. She said that it looked like Baby A, Nolan, was going to be delivered eventually, but if we were lucky, my cervix would close back up to keep the other two in for many more weeks/months. Little did she know, my uterus was already infected by the bacteria and it was moving through my blood stream.
So, I told my Dr. that I would do anything to keep the babies inside of me. I asked if I could sleep at an angle in hopes of keeping the babies as far from my cervix as possible. So, I began sleeping at an angle with my head down slightly and my feet up.
November 25, 2012
Most of the morning I remember things going well. I had visitors galore. Brandon was there all day, along with my parents and his parents. Then, Jen, my best friend, visited for a while and Diana, another good friend from school, visited. Everything was going well, until about midday.
At some point I started feeling contractions. The dr. decided to take me off of all of the medicines that were helping with the contractions because they weren't actually stopping the contractions. I don't remember too much more except that I did eventually fall asleep.
November 26, 2012- The Day I HATE
My mom and Brandon's mom decided to sleep on the hospital couches in the waiting room incase we needed anything. I don't know if it was mother's intuition or if the drs told them that it wouldn't be much longer. During the night, I was awake often due to my constant hemorrhaging. What a humbling experience to have someone clean me up several times because I couldn't move from the bed. Around 2 o'clock, I woke up with unbearable contractions.
It was a long day of contractions, 15 hours to be exact.
At some point, I was asked if I wanted an epidural. About half an hour later, I was told that my infection was so bad that the anesthesiologist would not give me an epidural. My temperature started to rise and my white blood count was increasing. Not only was I loosing a lot of blood through the hemorrhaging, but my uterine infection was entering my blood stream.
And so, after 15 hours of back labor and contractions our babies were born naturally, all within an hours time.
~Brantley Reese AKA "Baby C"~
Brandon and I struggled so much to find three perfect names for our miracles. We decided upon Nolan David and Amelia Grace, but were really struggling with a name for "baby c". Sometime between Nov. 14th and November 21st, a friend of ours text me and reminded me of a name that Brandon and I had talked about months before.
Brandon and I went to a Cleveland Indians game with some friends two summers prior. While at the game, I told Brandon and my friend that I really liked the name Brantley, after Michael Brantley a Cleveland Indian's player. Brandon agreed that he liked that name also and, if we ever had a boy, we would name him Brantley. Fast forward, here we were searching for another boy's name until my friends sends me a text reminding me of our conversation. I am so thankful for the timing of the text message from my friend. We had no idea that within a week of us finalizing our triplets names, they would be born. I don't know how I would have ever lived with myself if we had to just give "baby c" a name on spur of the moment when he passed. His name means so much more to me and I wish we could tell him the story of how he got his name. Even if it was months after his siblings received their names, his name was decided upon many months before he was even conceived.
We thought so long and hard about the babies names. Thought about what their initials might spell. Thought about what nicknames they may have in school by their friends. At one point, I liked the name Max. I was afraid, after much consideration, that in middle school he may be called Maxi Pad. I also really liked the name Harrison, but was afraid of the nickname Harry. We didn't want to used anything that started with a K because of Kappler being the baby's last name. Oh, the things I came up with for every single name I liked that then put them on the "No List".
Nolan, being the first born, received Brandon's middle name David. We knew he would be first born because he was always the lowest. So, with the name David as Nolan's middle name, we had to go back to the drawing board for Brantley's middle name. We considered also giving him Brandon's middle name, but then he would have the same initials as Brandon (BDK). We didn't want either boy to feel that their name was more important than the other. Finally, we decided on Reese. Now the first born would have Brandon's middle name and the second boy would have Brandon's initials (BK), sort of.
We considered so many things when choosing names. It's crazy how much time we spent thinking about the babies names only to find out that they would not be used on any documents other than birth and death certificates and their grave stone. No report cards, no graduation invitations, no marriage license, and the list goes on. The names we picked have so many meanings and each was carefully considered for many, many hours.
But Brantley, was thought about months before is name was official. I wish he knew that.
Brandon and I struggled so much to find three perfect names for our miracles. We decided upon Nolan David and Amelia Grace, but were really struggling with a name for "baby c". Sometime between Nov. 14th and November 21st, a friend of ours text me and reminded me of a name that Brandon and I had talked about months before.
Brandon and I went to a Cleveland Indians game with some friends two summers prior. While at the game, I told Brandon and my friend that I really liked the name Brantley, after Michael Brantley a Cleveland Indian's player. Brandon agreed that he liked that name also and, if we ever had a boy, we would name him Brantley. Fast forward, here we were searching for another boy's name until my friends sends me a text reminding me of our conversation. I am so thankful for the timing of the text message from my friend. We had no idea that within a week of us finalizing our triplets names, they would be born. I don't know how I would have ever lived with myself if we had to just give "baby c" a name on spur of the moment when he passed. His name means so much more to me and I wish we could tell him the story of how he got his name. Even if it was months after his siblings received their names, his name was decided upon many months before he was even conceived.
We thought so long and hard about the babies names. Thought about what their initials might spell. Thought about what nicknames they may have in school by their friends. At one point, I liked the name Max. I was afraid, after much consideration, that in middle school he may be called Maxi Pad. I also really liked the name Harrison, but was afraid of the nickname Harry. We didn't want to used anything that started with a K because of Kappler being the baby's last name. Oh, the things I came up with for every single name I liked that then put them on the "No List".
Nolan, being the first born, received Brandon's middle name David. We knew he would be first born because he was always the lowest. So, with the name David as Nolan's middle name, we had to go back to the drawing board for Brantley's middle name. We considered also giving him Brandon's middle name, but then he would have the same initials as Brandon (BDK). We didn't want either boy to feel that their name was more important than the other. Finally, we decided on Reese. Now the first born would have Brandon's middle name and the second boy would have Brandon's initials (BK), sort of.
We considered so many things when choosing names. It's crazy how much time we spent thinking about the babies names only to find out that they would not be used on any documents other than birth and death certificates and their grave stone. No report cards, no graduation invitations, no marriage license, and the list goes on. The names we picked have so many meanings and each was carefully considered for many, many hours.
But Brantley, was thought about months before is name was official. I wish he knew that.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
This is the email I sent to the teaching staff on November 14, 2012.
"I
had my 19w check up this past Friday. The doctor started by saying, "Looks like
your holding on by a thread." I didn't find it funny at the time because I was
nervous about how the cerclage was holding. I asked if that was good and he
chuckled and said yes, it looks great. Pheww!!
He also said all three babies look great and he actually said he was pleased with everything. The only thing that he wants to keep an eye on is Amelia's kidneys. Apparently they are a little larger than they should be, but not of any concern at this point. I am so thankful for the positive report because it helps me remember why I am laying on this couch ALL day.
I am already seeing a little personality in our three miracles. Nolan definitely has Brandon's temperament. He is always just hanging out relaxing. He doesn't seem to get worked up about anything. The ultrasound tech actually complemented me on Nolan. She said, "You have a really good, cooperative baby!" Lets hope he stays that way!!! He weighs 11 oz.
Amelia is our little spitfire!!! I told Brandon that the name fits her well because she was "flying" around in my belly the entire time the ultrasound tech was trying to get measurements. She said at one point, your little girl just totally did a somersault while I was measuring. Amelia was also moving away from the tech as she was trying to get a heart rate. She is the only one who I have felt kick me. She weighs 10 oz.
Baby "c" still doesn't have a name, although we are trying so hard to find something that we agree on. I honestly feel that baby "c" knows he doesn't have a name yet because he was putting on a show as if to say, look at me!! He is the only baby that gave us a great profile picture and then he made sure we knew he is a boy!!! He is definitely not scared to share that with us. The ultrasound tech also complemented on how cooperative he was. Four weeks ago, Baby "c" was 18% smaller than the other two. He has caught up and is almost the largest!!! He weighs 11 oz.
All three babies are measuring very close in size, which is great news. Their heartbeats are strong, all around 150. The doctor still wants me on strict bedrest as it is keeping the babies safe. They are the only reason I lay on the couch all day..... its killing me to do NOTHING!!!!
Well, my next appointment is in two weeks. I will keep everyone updated as I go to the appointments. I have attached a few pictures, although the ultrasounds are getting harder to see because the babies are starting to become squished!!! HAHA. Im not sure how the pictures are going to come through, but the picture numbered 4 is a picture of baby c's noes and mouth. The picture #6 is baby c. Picture #7 is Amelia's foot as she begins her somersault.
Have a great week!
Christina Kappler"
He also said all three babies look great and he actually said he was pleased with everything. The only thing that he wants to keep an eye on is Amelia's kidneys. Apparently they are a little larger than they should be, but not of any concern at this point. I am so thankful for the positive report because it helps me remember why I am laying on this couch ALL day.
I am already seeing a little personality in our three miracles. Nolan definitely has Brandon's temperament. He is always just hanging out relaxing. He doesn't seem to get worked up about anything. The ultrasound tech actually complemented me on Nolan. She said, "You have a really good, cooperative baby!" Lets hope he stays that way!!! He weighs 11 oz.
Amelia is our little spitfire!!! I told Brandon that the name fits her well because she was "flying" around in my belly the entire time the ultrasound tech was trying to get measurements. She said at one point, your little girl just totally did a somersault while I was measuring. Amelia was also moving away from the tech as she was trying to get a heart rate. She is the only one who I have felt kick me. She weighs 10 oz.
Baby "c" still doesn't have a name, although we are trying so hard to find something that we agree on. I honestly feel that baby "c" knows he doesn't have a name yet because he was putting on a show as if to say, look at me!! He is the only baby that gave us a great profile picture and then he made sure we knew he is a boy!!! He is definitely not scared to share that with us. The ultrasound tech also complemented on how cooperative he was. Four weeks ago, Baby "c" was 18% smaller than the other two. He has caught up and is almost the largest!!! He weighs 11 oz.
All three babies are measuring very close in size, which is great news. Their heartbeats are strong, all around 150. The doctor still wants me on strict bedrest as it is keeping the babies safe. They are the only reason I lay on the couch all day..... its killing me to do NOTHING!!!!
Well, my next appointment is in two weeks. I will keep everyone updated as I go to the appointments. I have attached a few pictures, although the ultrasounds are getting harder to see because the babies are starting to become squished!!! HAHA. Im not sure how the pictures are going to come through, but the picture numbered 4 is a picture of baby c's noes and mouth. The picture #6 is baby c. Picture #7 is Amelia's foot as she begins her somersault.
Have a great week!
Christina Kappler"
Sunday, November 10, 2013
"God's Waiting Room"
I started reading "You'll Get Through This" by Max Lucado. I am only a third of the way through, but this has been an amazing book! One paragraph that I would like to share is this:
I like that Max Lucado describes waiting as active. Waiting on God's promises does not mean waiting for the miracle to happen. I believe this means being proactive about your situation. Although God is capable of anything, He wants to see us working for what we want. Praying, believing and actively pursuing what we are waiting for.
And so, I will continue to actively "wait" for God's timing. Even though I am not a patient person, God is working. And that, is worth the wait!
I started reading "You'll Get Through This" by Max Lucado. I am only a third of the way through, but this has been an amazing book! One paragraph that I would like to share is this:
"And you? You aren't in prison, but you may be infertile or inactive or in limbo or in
between jobs or in search of health, help, a house, or a spouse. Are you in God's waiting
room? If so, here is what you need to know: while you wait, God works."
I guess this waiting seems different when I think of it as God's waiting room. Sure, waiting isn't my first choice, but if God is working while I am waiting, then it seems to lesson the frustration of waiting.
The book works through the story of Joseph and the fact that from the age of 17 till age 37, he had a really rough life that included A LOT of waiting. Not only was he sold and deserted by his own brothers, but he was also thrown into prison for something he didn't do. Joseph waited, and waited for twenty years. Yet, when he was finally released from prison to reveal the meanings of Pharaoh's dream, his faith was not devastated, but deepened.
"To wait, biblically speaking, is not to assume the worst, worry, fret, make demands, or take
control. Nor is waiting inactivity. Waiting is a sustained effort to stay focused on God
through prayer and belief. To wait is to "rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him,...not
fret" (Ps. 37:7)"
I like that Max Lucado describes waiting as active. Waiting on God's promises does not mean waiting for the miracle to happen. I believe this means being proactive about your situation. Although God is capable of anything, He wants to see us working for what we want. Praying, believing and actively pursuing what we are waiting for.
And so, I will continue to actively "wait" for God's timing. Even though I am not a patient person, God is working. And that, is worth the wait!
Friday, November 8, 2013
"Progress Isn't Always Obvious"
I just finished listening to a sermon about Joshua and the walls of Jericho. I have heard this story since I could walk into Sunday School. You probably know the story too; Joshua and his army walk around Jericho for seven days and the seventh day, the walls fall.
The preacher had an interesting insight into this story. If you read Joshua 6, God tells Joshua that his people need to walk around the walls for six days. Then, on the seventh day they will walk around seven times and blow their trumpets and the walls will fall. The part that I found interesting is that Joshua NEVER told his army that they were only doing this for seven days. His army walked around Jericho never knowing when the end was in sight. They walked by faith, not knowing when their walking would end.
How do I apply this to my life? I feel at times that I am walking, and walking, and walking, but getting no where. It's like life is playing a trick on me and I'm think I'm getting closer (to increasing our family), but I'm on a treadmill and I'm not actually any closer than I was one year ago. BUT, the thing that I have to remember is that if I give up, I will never see the end. People have asked me, how many times I am going to go through a miscarriage before I can't take it anymore. I guess I feel like the people in Joshua's army, I don't know at what point God is going to change things for me, but if I stop now, then it won't happen. I have no idea how far along this journey I am. Am I on day 6? Maybe I'm moving in to day 7. It sure feels like I'm all the way back at Day one. But, progress isn't always obvious. The pastor said that if the army would have stopped on day 6 and said, that's it, nothing has happened up till now its time to give up, the walls of Jericho would never have fallen.
How close are you to your promise? Don't give up! "Don't Stop On Six"
http://elevationchurch.org/sermons/dont-stop-on-6
11/8/2013
I just finished listening to a sermon about Joshua and the walls of Jericho. I have heard this story since I could walk into Sunday School. You probably know the story too; Joshua and his army walk around Jericho for seven days and the seventh day, the walls fall.
The preacher had an interesting insight into this story. If you read Joshua 6, God tells Joshua that his people need to walk around the walls for six days. Then, on the seventh day they will walk around seven times and blow their trumpets and the walls will fall. The part that I found interesting is that Joshua NEVER told his army that they were only doing this for seven days. His army walked around Jericho never knowing when the end was in sight. They walked by faith, not knowing when their walking would end.
How do I apply this to my life? I feel at times that I am walking, and walking, and walking, but getting no where. It's like life is playing a trick on me and I'm think I'm getting closer (to increasing our family), but I'm on a treadmill and I'm not actually any closer than I was one year ago. BUT, the thing that I have to remember is that if I give up, I will never see the end. People have asked me, how many times I am going to go through a miscarriage before I can't take it anymore. I guess I feel like the people in Joshua's army, I don't know at what point God is going to change things for me, but if I stop now, then it won't happen. I have no idea how far along this journey I am. Am I on day 6? Maybe I'm moving in to day 7. It sure feels like I'm all the way back at Day one. But, progress isn't always obvious. The pastor said that if the army would have stopped on day 6 and said, that's it, nothing has happened up till now its time to give up, the walls of Jericho would never have fallen.
How close are you to your promise? Don't give up! "Don't Stop On Six"
http://elevationchurch.org/sermons/dont-stop-on-6
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